Archive | May, 2014

Let’s all enjoy a solid chorus of “I Told You So!”

31 May

Yes, I believe in rubbing it in good. I let too many things fly past, this is not going to get by without insult. 

Mark Sorensen owes us an apology. He was Brian Nakamura’s biggest supporter. Now Nakamura is doing just exactly what he did to Hemet, and other towns before that – leaving without proper notice, for a job he secretly sought out while in our employ. The guy is so predictable – I predicted this, in fact. But Sorensen gave him a huge salary, and the sacred trust, and then stood by while he pilfered our treasury for his own fat salary, pension and benefits. Not to mention, those of his friends, Orme and Constantin. And now he’s hired his friend as our city attorney. 

Is Sorensen stupid or is he in on it? Will he take over as City Manager? What will happen to Orme and Constantin? I can’t decide yet, I’ll have to put in my prediction later. If only it paid like Vegas, I’d be a fucking millionaire by now. 

Attack of the Mother Frackers

27 May

I’ve seen the signs around town, especially in that big mess at the corner of Bruce and 32 – “Citizens Against Higher Energy Costs.” Somehow I just knew this was not a campaign to get PG&E to lower their rates.

Actually, it’s a campaign on behalf of and probably paid for by PG&E – their attempt to derail the effort to ban fracking in Butte County. Maybe you were just as surprised  as I was, back in April, when a nearly unanimous board of Supervisors voted to place an ordinance banning fracking on the county ballot. All but the same Larry Wahl who says he opposes marijuana grows because they’re bad for the environment – go figure.

I first heard about Citizen’s Against Higher Energy Costs  through  Senator Jim Nielsen, who sends me his regular e-mail newsletter eversince I made an inquiry of his office. I also received a note, asking if the Chico Taxpayers Association would like to join the group, from a lady named Ingelise Guy. When I googled her, I got , “Ingelise Nielsen Guy”, but I don’t know if that’s the same lady. Weird though. 

I asked her how much money Jim Nielsen received from PG&E, but she hasn’t got back to me. So, I googled PG&E campaign contributions, and found this:

Cool, eh? Just love the internet.  

Looking over the reports year by year, I see Jim Nielsen has been taking $3900 a year directly from PG&E. I know, that doesn’t sound like much, but it’s enough to pay for phones and electricity for your campaign office, and a bunch of campaign signs. Year after year, $3900. I’m sorry, that looks bad Jim! 

It is funny – I don’t see Larry Wahl on  that list, or find PG&E in any of his campaign contribution reports, but he’s vehemently against the ban. Meanwhile, you’ll find Maureen Kirk, who voted in favor of putting the ordinance on the ballot, took $500 from PG&E one year. But, that $3900 a year still looks bad for Nielsen. 

And I really don’t like the implied threat that they’ll raise our energy rates if we try to ban this very questionable practice in our county. I’d like to think my elected officials are there to protect us against these marauding corporations, but I don’t believe they can take money from these same corporations and still act in our best interests. 

Virgle Gage gives us something to think about

26 May
Virgle Gage is a nice guy to chat with.

Virgle Gage is a nice guy to chat with.

I am so glad I took the time to meet Virgle Gage – the discussion we had yesterday gave me a lot to think about.  I still believe a person needs practical experience in assessment and appraisal of properties to take this job, but I also believe there are subjective decisions to this job that are influenced by management philosophy, and I’ve been looking for each candidate’s particular management style.

I was impressed with Virgle Gage’s professional achievements. He has worked for years, doing what he calls “assessing”, in a general sense of the word. Mr. Gage assessed businesses for their performance, not their value, that’s about as simple as I can put it. Of course that job took knowledge, skill and training, but not the same training it takes to make a fair assessment of a home. According to Diane Brown, who is running the Assessor’s office in the interim between  Fred Holland’s retirement and the appointment of the elected official, there is a pretty vast set of rules regarding assessment, a thick manual in need of update.

I am not convinced a person who has no background in property assessment could come in and take a quick online course and test, and be considered qualified to run the Assessor’s office. On the other hand, I’ve found there’s more to this job than the qualifications. The Assessor makes a lot of subjective decisions, based on their own personal philosophy about how much a person should pay in taxes.  

I think there are two kinds of assessors. One kind works for the county, raising revenues. The other kind of assessor works for the taxpayers, making sure that we are assessed fairly.

There you go – that’s subjective. Everybody has their own idea of what’s fair. I think what would be most fair would be assessment based on sale price, but our California tax code allows the assessor to make “supplemental assessment,” meaning, if he thinks your house undersold, he can assess it for more.  I’d like to see a concrete set of rules for property assessment, and I’d like to think it runs along the lines of square footage and comparable neighborhood sales. Comps should be limited to the immediate area, within sight of the property being assessed, and should be of similar size, age, quality and amenities. 

Fred Holland was of the first kind of assessor, he told me so. He told me he thought it was his job to raise revenues for the county, and he would look for the highest possible assessment. When he came to assess my house, since I was home, he asked to come in. When I asked Why?, he said he wanted to see my “appointments” – drapes, counter tops, cabinets, flooring, all that personal stuff. That’s not what an assessment should be based on, and I said ‘No’. I referred any further snoopy questions to Old Venus, and I went in the house. I wonder how many people let him in thinking they have to?

Diane Brown spoke a lot about going into people’s houses. I don’t think that’s appropriate. If they’ve pulled permits, they’ve had an inspector in, and all that stuff is in the specs. Assessors can get everything they need from the specs and the front yard of a house. If there’s any suspicion that a property owner has un-permitted uses on their property, that’s supposed to be handled by code enforcement. There’s no excuse for anybody from the Assessor’s office to be snooping around in your house or private areas.

I think supplemental assessments are bullshit all the way around. How can they tell me my property is worth an amount I won’t realize unless I sell? And maybe not then?  It’s bad enough paying property taxes at all, but to have this all based on revenue needs is just wrong. It should be based on the concept of usable roads, quality schools, clean, safe utilities. 

While Mr. Gage felt it necessary to explain why he was running for this office, I was also interested in his general philosophy. I want to know, how does the candidate feel about Prop 13? Gage said he feels it motivates businesses to move to California, not only for protection of their commercial properties, but because a lower property tax rate gives homeowners more money to spend. This is the right attitude as far as I’m concerned, and I think we need to communicate this to the other candidates. 

This is one reason I hope the Assessor’s race goes on to November. I want this conversation to be had. 




There’s still time to write to CPUC to protest Cal Water rate hike

26 May

I wrote the letter below to the Enterprise Record about two weeks ago, but David Little claims he’s had so many campaign letters he can’t squeeze this in. I don’t have time to complain about how that little prick runs his rag, so here it is:

Thank you Maurice Picard for writing about the Water Rate Adjustment Mechanism by which Cal Water punishes us for conserving water. The California Public Utilities Commission allows water companies to use WRAM to adjust rates monthly to cover their expenses, not our usage.  We are “damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.” 

WRAM was initiated as a “pilot program” in 2008, “to remove any disincentives the company may have to implement Conservation Rates and Conservation Programs”… This latest notice says the purpose is to “make sure Cal Water collects the right amount..”  

My May bill also includes a separate notice explaining an “18-month surcharge…to allow recovery of fixed costs not covered due to unanticipated sales variations…” But they said they used WRAM to make sure that doesn’t happen, that doesn’t make sense. 

Furthermore, Cal Water has proposed a rate increase, originally 38 percent, now down to 19 percent. The notice I received in 2012  said most of the money would go to compensation for workers who don’t pay anything toward their own defined benefits packages. 

We are under demand to cut our water usage, at the same time, pay more in rates for extravagant benefits packages for these for-profit water companies. Please write to CPUC Administrative Law Judge Robert M. Mason III, 505 Van Ness Avenue, Fifth Floor, San Francisco, CA 94102 and tell him this rate hike is neither justified nor in the public interest. 

Juanita Sumner, Chico 

Virgle Gage to speak to Chico Taxpayers today, Chico library, 1 pm

25 May

I’m sorry I didn’t schedule Virgle Gage earlier in the season, I have been hearing that he is an engaging speaker. Trying to schedule people over the last few months has been a challenge, and I really appreciate the cooperation I’ve had from these candidates. It was nice of Mr. Gage to agree to come on down to the library to answer questions, I hope we can give him a good reception. I know there are people out there who haven’t voted yet, and I hope they’re taking these county offices seriously.

I’ll be there at 12:30 to set up chairs, and I’ll  get a good interview with Mr. Gage for those of you who are not able to make it today. 

Chico Enterprise Record reporter Laura Urseny seems determined to pull the wool over the taxpayers’ eyes on CARD’s aquatic center boondoggle

18 May

Chico Enterprise Record, 5/16/2014:  “At Thursday night’s CARD board meeting, center representative and former CARD board member Jerry Hughes asked the CARD board to consider setting aside $30,000 for the aquatic center effort.  He said that money would be used to hire a consultant for a feasibility study.”

I find it really interesting that Enterprise Record “reporter” Laura Urseny, who covers CARD and attends all the meetings, chose not to tell us that CARD just put out money for a consultant for a “feasibility study”  – remember the little survey they floated last year?

I sat in on the consultant’s report – she said there was no support at that time for an aquatic center, and that CARD needed to “build support in the community.” That’s what this new consultant is all about – how will they convince us that we need to put a bond on our homes to pay for an aquatic center?

According to Director Steve Visconti, “There’s not enough to build an aquatic center; we’re talking millions. But we do have $30,000. We can do a conceptual plan or help with the process.”

What neither Visconti nor Urseny will ever  tell you is that CARD is on the hot seat for their unfunded pension liability.  Last year, in addition to $300,000 spent annually, they made a “one time” $400,000 paydown to avoid penalties from CalPERS. CARD employees pay nothing toward their own retirement – 70 percent of their highest year’s salary at age 55.    Visconti is set to retire soon on 70 percent of $112,000.

“Earlier in the week, an outreach meeting for potential partners and funding sources was held that attracted about 30 organizations that came together to hear about the proposed center. ” Really?  I signed up to be noticed of these meetings and they dumped me from the list. I have to ask, what 30 organizations, how about naming them? Why are CARD and Urseny so secretive about this whole aquatic center thing? Because they’re in those meetings talking about how they will get the public to pay for their pipe dreams.

Laura Urseny is not a news reporter – she’s nothing but a busybody. Oh yeah, I hear you – “look who’s talking…”  Well, it’s my purse they’re sticking their pudgy mitts into, and I’ll tell you what – they’re going to draw back a stump.



Voter pamphlets and mail-in ballots should be arriving now – primary June 3

14 May

I got my mail-in ballot a few days ago, and I’ve filled it almost completely. I have to admit, there are some offices I’m not voting, I just don’t know anything about the candidates one way or the other. And, there are a couple I have not decided yet, I’ll be holding onto it a couple more days.

Would you believe, there are still five days left to register to vote in this election?

Geez, and almost three more weeks of mailbox stuffed fulla junk!


This is just one day's sampling of the campaign blitz.

This is just one day’s sampling of the campaign blitz.


See there, Bill Connelly sent me a Mother’s Day card.


That Bill, he's a go-getter.

That Bill, he’s a go-getter.


Good for Bill, he sent a post card – on the other hand, Bob Evans gets the Paul Bunyan award.


10 x 14? That's a lot of tree pulp Bob!

10 x 14? That’s a lot of tree pulp Bob!


I often worry my mail carrier won’t be able to get my regular mail in there.


Here's a pissing match - will the extra two and a half inches guarantee victory for Mr. Gallagher? My dad always said, check their shoe size.

Here’s a pissing match – will the extra two and a half inches guarantee victory for Mr. Gallagher?


I often wonder how much these mailers influence people’s decisions. And then there’s this guy.


I have to wonder how much money this man makes selling ads in his "newsletter."

I have to wonder how much money this man makes selling ads in his “newsletter.”






District 2 voters have got a lot to think about – Andrew Merkel not just for “potheads”

12 May

We had a good turnout of new and returning faces for Second District Supervisor Andrew Merkel yesterday, thanks to those of you who made it in. I was glad to hear, people actually read those notices in the Enterprise Record, but I was not able to contact the paper in time to get another notice about the cancellation.

I swore to God I wasn’t going to talk about pot. I wanted to find out what Mr. Merkel knew and thought about some other issues before the board, and I did, but when voters started trickling in, the questions all turned toward the marijuana ordinance. Oh well, that’s what these meetings are about, I was so thankful to have some people to ask questions.

What I had wanted to know for myself was whether Merkel is actually qualified to take on the job of supervisor or just angry over an issue and, Hollywood style, throwing his hat in the ring. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was governor, his brother-in-law made a successful bid for city council because the city told him he had to cut his hedges. He turned out to be qualified for the position, and ended up serving two terms. Today, I found out, sure, Merkel is annoyed about one specific issue, but he showed knowledge of other issues that will be in the forefront over the next few years.

Merkel, after all, has been working with county staff for the last few years, making a legitimate effort to bring the kind of regulation he sees as necessary for the pot industry. As one man said at our meeting today, “Pot is here to stay,” and Merkel believes regulation through registration will be good for the county, the growers and the citizens in general.  In working with staff, he’s gotten to know County Administrative Officer Paul Hahn fairly well, and has working relationships with most of the sitting supervisors. He knows his way around the county offices, knows who to ask for documents, is familiar with the county budget, revenues and expenditures, and feels confident that he is ready to take a responsible position in leading the county forward.

He holds a degree in Organizational Management, comes from a family background of financial management, and feels, “the county is a big non-profit corporation.”  He was excited to talk about ways in which the county could benefit from regulated marijuana farming, from permit fees and taxes, increased property values, and health-related tourism.  “Marijuana should be regulated,” he said, noting that not everybody should be allowed to smoke it nor should it be allowed to be grown everywhere. But overly onerous restrictions are not realistic, he says. They don’t address people’s true need for their “medicine,’ and criminalize otherwise productive and respectable citizens. I met some of those folks yesterday and I have to agree.

We also had some folks with anecdotes about  harassment or bad behavior by pot growers, but like Merkel explained, the activities they described – burning a field in the middle of the night, growing crops along river levees, threatening neighbors – that’s all illegal, and can and should be reported, no matter who is doing it. Merkel also quoted county appraiser and assessor candidate Diane Brown who said that property values are going up, up, up in the hills. I have also seen this on the real estate sites. Whether this is because of pot growers or despite pot growers is up to speculation, but it certainly weakens claims that pot growers lower property values.

I didn’t want to be contrary, but  I will say here, there are alot of things your neighbor can do that are annoying and will lower your property values – try living next to an unlicensed daycare, or a “party” house.

Here Merkel agreed with opponent Larry Wahl – the code enforcement department is short of staff. It’s funny, the county people, including Larry Wahl,  have contradicted themselves – they’ve all said the county is doing fine financially, but then turned around and said there are staff shortages in various departments, unfilled positions that result in inadequate service. Looking at salaries, you see the same old same old – management compensation packages over $200,000, close to $300,000 – like the two management positions they just filled in Behavioral Health. Then the “subordinates” are expected to get along on the drippings – less than $40,000, including benefits. I tried to talk to Merkel about this but we didn’t get far before other people came in and immediately wanted to talk pot.

Merkel did report the Department of Water Resources has recently dedicated $3.8 million toward “Weed, mining, and lumber.” See there it is – try living next to somebody who’s clearing or logging their lot, or maybe doing a little illegal mining operation. Walk along Butte Creek sometime, see all the high-banking going on. Go to Downieville, where my grandfather once shot a Frenchman for high-banking on his property – read the paper, at least once a year, somebody gets shot over gold. Pot farmers are hardly the threat to our environment or community safety that is posed by mining and logging, but I don’t hear any cockamamie stories about those activities at Board of Supes meetings.

We were able to touch on some other topics. Merkel believes fracking is an irresponsible practice, reminding everybody how much the price of clean water would shoot up if there was an accident that contaminated our complex surface and groundwater system. This topic should get more attention than pot, but I know it scares the crap out of me. I guess people just feel helpless on this issue, nobody ever wants to talk about water except for the vested interests, and they treat us like the back door cousins come begging around with our little buckets.

Merkel has worked largely as a realtor/developer. He believes the county should go full-steam ahead on infill development, primarily in Chico. He wondered aloud, what would it take to get these people on big lots to develop – I almost lost my temper here. We just went through a building boom that ruined many people’s lives, just to get revenues to pay salaries and outrageous pensions, and here he comes, suggesting we need to develop our way out of the mess they made doing that. I just had to grind my teeth and wait til he shut up.

Impetuous youth.

I will say, he’s at least as qualified for the job as Larry Wahl. I also admire his stance as an “independent,” meaning, he is not running for a non-partisan office on a party ticket. I like that. I’m sick of the good old boy network that has run this area since I was a tot. Sure, in Chico, the good old boys were both Republican and Democrat hats, they fight like two big dogs, and we get the scraps. This is a non-partisan office, I  don’t want to hear Republicrap or  Demogogue bullshit folks. 

I also have to admire his willingness to be available and listen. Larry Wahl also came down to the library, I’ll give him that, but he has taken a stone-wall stance on many things, especially pot. He’s also made pot a big issue in the election, to the exclusion of many other important topics.  Larry has put the pot people on the defensive, attacked them, and now they’re coming out of the woodwork, many people who might otherwise have gone on, minding their own business and paying their taxes. 

Toward the end of our session, the older man who had opined that pot was here to stay asked Merkel if he thought he had a chance of winning. I’ll be honest – this man could pass for Tom Daughterman in a line-up, I would have taken him for a Wahl supporter. No, he said quietly that he was frustrated with Wahl’s stubbornness and unwillingness to come to the  table and be reasonable.  Merkel smiled easily and confidently and said “yes, I’m going to win”. He reported that “Larry has made a lot of enemies,” he’s been rude to people, turned away from folks who’ve tried to reason with him on this issue, and led a campaign of harassment and name-calling instead of working for an equitable solution.  One woman said she doesn’t like the cost of “repealing what they’re doing,” meaning, the constant barrage of marijuana ordinances coming out of the Board of Supervisors. A couple of people questioned Wahl’s reputation as “fiscal conservative,” questioning the cost of having an election “on what the people have already voted on.” 

Merkel reported that Candace Grubbs had checked every single signature on the referendum petition recently handed in, instead of doing the simple sample method, at a cost of $4950 in staff time. Larry told us he was going to make sure she did just that. Friends of mine who know Grubbs assured me she would use her discretion to throw out signatures for simple mistakes, like no middle initial, when she could easily verify most of them using common sense. She has that discretion, whether she uses it to the benefit of the voters or to solidify her job security is up to speculation. This latest complaint isn’t the first against Grubbs, it was initiated by one of her staff, and I’ve heard she’s got a file full of such complaints. I’ve seen the way she treats her staffers at meetings, I wouldn’t work for the bitch. 

I haven’t got a figure on how much it will cost to add this issue to the November ballot, but Merkel told me he received two figures on Measure A (the marijuana measure not the Chico election measure) – I think he was originally told $80,000 but later found out the actual cost was closer to $120,000. 

I guess these are “chump change” amounts to a person who can spend millions of dollars in other people’s money over the course of a morning.

For the record, I do not live in District 2, so I won’t make an endorsement one way or the other. But I will agree that Larry Wahl needs to step down from his righteous pedestal and try to remember, he works for us, we don’t work for him, and that’s our money he’s slapping down on that bar. 















Gallagher cancelled for Sunday, Andrew Merkel will headline at noon; Joe Montes pushed out of race, cancelled for May 25 speaking date

9 May

Well, our speaker series winds towards June primary with only two more speakers – Andrew Merkel, District 2 BCBoS this Sunday at noon, and Butte County assessor candidate Virgle Gage on May 25 at one pm.

Now, I had scheduled 3rd District Assembly candidate James Gallagher for this Sunday, but at the last minute his camp realized they’d scheduled for Mother’s Day and, worried about attendance, asked if they could back out. I had not realized that myself when I scheduled him back in March, and, since they had just driven over from Sutter County for the Women’s League of Voter’s forum just last night, I told them, don’t worry about it.

I already decided to vote for Ryan Schohr anyway, but I was trying to run this speaker thing as straight as possible. I offered Jim Reed a date but his camp never got back to me. He came to visit toward the end of Andrew Coolidge’s gig, but our time was up and we had to leave the room before we could have any conversation with Mr. Reed. In past I have found I don’t agree with him on much of anything, so had not intended to vote for him. I just wanted to be fair.  

In other news, Joe Montes has informed me that he will be dropping out of the race due to pressure from the conservative camp – they told him he would just split the vote, so he should drop out. So, obviously, he is cancelling for May 25. If he thought I was going to keep his confidence on that little bombshell he’s nuts. Andrew Coolidge already told us, he met with other “conservative” candidates back during campaign 2012, and they agreed, there were too many conservative candidates for the number of seats, and that would split the vote and give Schwab and the other “liberals” an easy victory. They tried to pressure Donnan out. I remember certain people talking about that, bitching about Donnan having no business running. Donnan wouldn’t drop out, Goddess bless him, and Coolidge is still mad enough to eat the heads off a sack full  of kittens. He lost by about 200 votes, he talks about it like it happened yesterday, and the little muscles in his temples just go into spasms. 

Jesus Christ you fucking idiots, what the hell country do you live in? I live in America, where American citizens have the right to run for public office, and the voters have the right to vote for whom they choose. I’m sick of the stuff that goes on, both the liberals with their Esplanade League memos and the conservatives with their backroom meetings. I will “opine” here – Mark Sorensen, Michael  Dailey and Andrew Coolidge have pressured Joe Montes out of the council race, I don’t care what Montes says at this point, I got his e-mail in my box.  “People” told him he was going to split the conservative vote, so he’s dropping out. Yeah, people – Mr. Brownshirt, Mr. Slate, and Mr. Pist. 

They made the mistake of trying to run Dailey on a “slate” with Dan Herbert and Mark Sorensen years back, and it blew up in their face. A slate? Why would anybody want to vote for three guys that vote in unison? Larry, Moe and Curley? Intelligent voters want a good mix, not a rubber-stamping majority. So they lost, wham, Herbert was out, Sorensen had to run again, and Dailey went home to change diapers. Now, my guess is, they will be smart enough not to use the word “slate,” but that’s what they’re up too.

I’d call it racketeering, but I’m not a lawyer. 


I think the Nature Center is lying about their revenues so they don’t have to pay back the city’s $186,000 (now $206,000) loan

9 May

I’ve been corresponding with Randall Stone regarding the outstanding debt owed to the taxpayers of Chico by the Chico Creek Nature Center. Stone and Mark Sorensen both sent me Nature Center Form 990’s when I requested them from the Nature Center director and she said I’d have to come down to the center and pick them up, it was too onerous a burden for her to send me this information that she had told me days previous was available to the public and she’d e-mail it to me. 

Randall and Brian Nakamura are pushing for “forgiveness” of $206,000+, consisting of a $181,000 loan and the interest and fees that have accrued over the last few years of NO PAYMENT. Both of these guys, who’ve never had a child attend the center’s daycare program, say the center provides wonderful services for the city and people of Chico.

It was good of Randall to send me the Form 990 filed by the Nature Center – “Return of Organization Exempt from Income Tax.” Wow, a daycare operation that pays no income tax? In this town? They try to say they don’t make any profit, only bringing in about $136,000 a year. $47,000 of that comes from a city grant. They expect us to believe they only bring in $80,000/ year from that daycare camp they run four months a year?

When my kids attended, the fees were double what you’d pay for a regular daycare operation. People were willing to pay, because it’s in the city park. On city owned  land. In a city-owned building, and another building that should be owned by the city. CCNC and friends spent about $800,000 on that Taj Majal, $186,000 came from the city of Chico. It came out of the development fund, which is now millions in arrears. 

Sure, they’ve coughed up their 990, but there’s no accounting or paperwork for their daycare operation. I’d say, if they’re not lying about their revenues from that operation, they are incompetent. Who runs a daycare operation in this town without a profit? 

That’s why I tried to suggest we find somebody else to run this thing. It could be great, it was wonderful under the first director, a woman named Stephanie. Since then we are expected to put up with people like Tom Haithcock, who had no credentials for running  a kids’ day camp, and now this Caitlin woman who can’t even send me an attachment to an e-mail. 

When I tried to make that suggestion, Sorensen cut me off before my three minutes was up, and yelled at me that I was off topic.  When I tried to tell him why it was on topic, he yelled, “That’s enough!”

Sorensen sent me the 2011 990.

Only a year previous, but revenues are more than double 2012?  They’ve lost some grant money, including city CBGF money, but not that much. What’s to explain for this sudden loss in revenues? I’ll opine, BOOK COOKING. They knew the city would be coming after that loan money, so they’ve hidden their revenues, is what I’m guessing.

Nakamura seems to be saying, “we’re not going to get this money, so let’s make hay by writing it off…”  I don’t think he’s telling us everything. 

My mom used to have this little sign over her desk – “I am a mushroom. They keep me in the dark and feed me bullshit.”  

Mark Sorensen is a mushroom farmer.